ParentED Fest 2025, the largest parenting event in Romania, brought to Bucharest some of the world’s most renowned experts in parenting and education. Dr. Shefali, pioneer of conscious parenting, international speaker, and frequent guest of Oprah Winfrey, returned to ParentED Fest on October 5, following the success of the previous edition.
Joining her on stage on Sunday were Maggie Dent, a renowned parenting expert and author of numerous books on balanced child development, and Dr. Laura Markham, psychologist and bestselling author known for her work on connection-based parenting
Dr. Shefali
Clinical Psychologist, Author, and International Speaker
“I’m deeply moved to see how many young parents – and not only – are eager, even thirsty, to evolve. Whether or not you have a biological child, we are all parents: parents of our inner child. That is the essence of my work on conscious parenting: it doesn’t matter how many children you have externally; the greatest, most restless one who needs your attention, presence, warmth, and encouragement the most is the child within you.”
“When we have children, each of us does so from an unconscious fantasy. We believe that at last, we’ll ‘make it’. That child will validate us. Maybe we were rejected, maybe we didn’t feel loved or that we belonged. So, we project all these unmet needs onto the child – they will be the one to bring us fulfillment, pride, success. We imagine a child who’s part Mozart, part Julia Roberts, part Brad Pitt – brilliant, talented, extraordinary. We dream of a child skiing backwards at two, speaking three languages, dazzling the world. And then… reality. A few months later, we realize this child doesn’t look like our fantasy.”
“Around the age of 40–45, exhaustion mixes with menopause, hormones fade, patience disappears – but a doorway to transformation opens, because parenting is not, in fact, about the child. It’s about our ego. Teenagers become perfect teachers for that ego: brutally honest, telling us straight to our faces, ‘Mom, Dad, you don’t control me. I see you. You’re not perfect. You’re hypocritical. What you’re asking doesn’t make sense.’ And they’re right. They shake us, bring us back to earth. That’s when the spell breaks: the child no longer lives in your illusion – they grow up, and you must grow too. That is the true awakening.”
“Every relationship we have – with our partner, friends, or child – is merely a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. When your child listens, follows rules, and seems ‘good’, they’re not necessarily good – they’re simply feeding your ego, which feels validated. But when your child disobeys, rebels, comes home late, lies, steals the car, or says, ‘I hate you’, suddenly they’re ‘bad’. Not because they truly are, but because your ego feels hurt. You don’t see the pain, helplessness, or need behind their behavior; you see only an offense to yourself.”
“Our entire way of thinking is merely conditioning – not a matter of right or wrong, but a psychological lottery determined by the home we grew up in, where our parents held control over our psychology, just as we now hold it over our children, instilling our belief systems in them daily. (…) This is the essence: we grow up with a set of conditionings, then pass them on to our children – beliefs about obedience, intelligence, success, behavior. But these are inherited beliefs, not absolute truths.”
“Because we’ve completely abandoned our personal lives, we cling to the identity of ‘perfect mothers’. We tell ourselves, ‘It has to be worth it! It has to mean something!’ But often, it doesn’t look good at all. So we panic. We start ‘raising the stakes’: ‘Let’s go skiing!’, ‘Let’s sign them up for piano!’, ‘Let’s do something new, something impressive!’ And we burn out completely. Our identity becomes a chaos of comparison, panic, and perfectionism. We long to feel that we’re ‘enough’, but we don’t know how.”
“When you tell your child (or your partner, or anyone else), ‘You need to be happy so I can be okay,’ you transfer a burden that doesn’t belong to them. You use them to meet your own need for worth and safety. And, painful as it may be to admit, in those moments you’re using your child – not loving them unconditionally. (…) That’s why, when we use children as a source of validation, the tragedy is even greater: they come into this world with trust, vulnerability, and innocence, and we weigh their souls down with our unresolved issues.”
“Children are the easiest ground for our projections because they are ours. We try to control them, keep them close, shape them in our image and according to our needs – just as we do with partners: ‘You’re mine. We’re one. We’re soulmates.’ We label possession and control as ‘love’. The same happens in parenting: we hold them tight with an invisible leash and call it ‘unconditional love’.”
“When you begin to see your child as they truly are – authentic, imperfect, unique – you accept them, and from acceptance grows respect. When you honor them, they feel free, live spontaneously, allow themselves to make mistakes, to fall and rise again, knowing deep down they are worthy even without achievement, dignified without doing anything special, and whole just as they are. And in the moment, you see their light, you finally fall in love with yourself.”
Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a globally influential voice, known for her revolutionary approach to conscious parenting and for promoting an authentic, balanced lifestyle. Holding a PhD from Columbia University and over two decades of experience in clinical psychology, she harmoniously blends Eastern philosophy with Western psychology, offering a unique perspective on emotional and relational development. An international bestselling author, Dr. Shefali has been described by Oprah Winfrey as ‘revolutionary’ for her ability to transform the parent–child relationship into a journey of mutual growth. Beyond her work as an author and clinician, she is a highly sought-after speaker at major international conferences.
Maggie Dent
Educator, Parenting Counselor, Author, and ‘Voice for Boys’ in Parenting
“None of us are perfect parents. We all forget things, raise our voices, get frustrated. That doesn’t mean we’re bad parents. We need to lower the bar of expectations, especially mothers. Connection is what matters; kids don’t mind if the laundry isn’t folded.”
“When we have a child, we imagine who they will be. But often, we don’t get the child we wanted – we get the one we needed. (…) Our role is to understand who the child we have truly is, and what they need to become who they’re meant to be. And yes, some are harder to love sometimes. Every parent knows that.”
“Every child comes into the world with innate gifts and challenges. Unfortunately, over the last decade, I’ve noticed we focus too much on children’s deficits and not enough on their strengths. For a long time, it was believed that birth order strongly influenced personality, but recent research shows the differences are minimal. The firstborn has some advantages, but things balance out after that.”
“Children build internal maps of the world through experience — how things work, who they are, how they feel. For instance, when my two-year-old granddaughter sits beside me in the kitchen and eats an entire box of cherry tomatoes, she’s discovering: This is what it feels like to bite into a tomato. Her brain learns through repetition and experience. Sometimes children draw on the dog, pull its tail, or do seemingly absurd things — but in fact, they are exploring the world. We need to see these moments differently.”
“No parent can meet 100% of a child’s needs all the time — and that’s perfectly okay. What matters is focusing on the essentials and knowing we won’t always get it right. When children (or we) feel overwhelmed, the brain floods with cortisol, the stress hormone. That’s why they scream, hit, or run. After the outburst, they feel better and can regain balance. Then dopamine and endorphins appear, helping us feel good. We can stimulate them through simple things — humor, play, singing, pleasant smells, good food. When children laugh, they release cortisol — it’s more effective than crying. Laughter, singing, and hugs are all natural medicine for the brain.”
“When a child has a meltdown, remember — it’s not about you; it’s about them. In that moment, bend your knees slightly, take a deep breath, and try to see the world through your child’s eyes. They’re not bad or naughty; they’re just struggling to cope. At first, it may feel odd, but that physical gesture helps create, through neuroplasticity, a new reaction in your brain. Over time, you’ll find it easier to stay calm in such moments.”
“Sensitive children can also be anxious, and for them, predictability is essential. If you’re going somewhere new, tell them in advance where you’re going, who will be there, how long you’ll stay, and what they’ll be able to do — this helps them feel in control and reduces anxiety. It may seem excessive, but for an anxious child, predictability is profoundly calming. And most importantly — celebrate their sensitivity! The world needs them: empathetic, caring, and attuned.”
“In a world that moves so fast, real connection is essential. I’m a big advocate of micro-connections — short but meaningful moments of presence. They don’t need to be grand gestures, just moments when you’re truly there. For example, at breakfast, put your phone away and be present — because little ones notice immediately when a notification goes off and they know you’ve ‘left’. So silence it and put it away. We need real conversations, real words, and real people — we’re a social species, and human connection is our emotional nourishment.”
“Just as a child’s body cannot grow without food, the mind cannot flourish without stimulation, and the soul wilts without being nourished with love and meaning. We’re not just growing brains — we’re raising whole beings with mind, body, and soul. Our duty is to nurture all these levels in a world that tends to measure only what can be seen. There’s a sacredness to childhood — and children are meant to have one.”
Maggie Dent, known as “the queen of common sense,” is one of Australia’s most beloved parenting authors and educators, celebrated for her expertise in early childhood, adolescence, and resilience-building — and especially for her unwavering advocacy for boys.
With extensive experience as a teacher, counselor, and in palliative care and suicide prevention, Maggie is a powerful voice who quietly transforms the lives of families and communities. She is the mother of four sons and a deeply involved, grateful grandmother.
Dr. Laura Markham
Clinical Psychologist, Founder of AHA! Parenting, and Bestselling Author
“When children are raised consciously — meaning when parents start by taking care of themselves, ensuring their own needs are met and not unloading their frustrations onto their kids — a more balanced relationship forms. When we connect with them, validate them, and care for their emotional needs, they no longer feel the need to compete with or dismiss each other, because they feel seen and fulfilled.”
“When we guide our children based on what they need to become the best version of themselves — instead of controlling, threatening, or punishing them — things flow much more easily. Yes, adolescence will bring challenges and moments of separation, but the parenting journey becomes immeasurably lighter. This kind of parenting makes a world of difference.”
“Everything starts with the parent’s calm. Why is self-regulation so important? Because the parent is the model — and science shows us it’s not just about imitation, it’s about co-regulation. A child’s neurobiology is born incomplete, and the brain’s connections and nervous system develop through repeated experiences in the early years — especially those shared with primary caregivers, usually parents.”
“Every time you pick up a crying baby and soothe them, their body releases oxytocin — the bonding hormone. The more oxytocin is released, the more receptors for it are formed, which means that for the rest of their life, that child will have a greater capacity for connection and trust. In essence, the way we relate literally shapes the child’s neurobiology.”
“It’s essential for the parent to start from a place of calm. An emotionally unregulated adult is dangerous for a child. The moment a parent yells or loses control, the child instantly feels unsafe. They go into a defensive state, because their entire body reacts to the parent’s stress.”
“Therapists used to teach couples communication skills, which seemed logical — but it didn’t work, because when people are upset, they can’t access the rational part of the brain — the prefrontal cortex. The same applies between siblings. So before teaching children how to behave, we must teach them how to calm down when they’re upset. This ability to self-regulate develops over time, and the parent plays a crucial role: when you calm your child, you’re teaching them how to calm themselves.”
“Children who are frequently yelled at or exposed to parental anger often become more anxious or depressed in adolescence. You can have balanced teens — but the hard work starts early, through how you regulate your own emotions. If you grew up in a household full of shouting, it will be a challenge — but breaking that cycle is an act of heroism. No one may ever know, but the true reward will be your inner peace. (…) The key isn’t perfection, but daily practice of calm. The way you treat yourself teaches your child how to treat themselves.”
“If you don’t work on your relationship with your child, sibling issues will worsen. To have any influence over another human being — whether a child, partner, or colleague — you must have a real connection. Many parents believe authority comes automatically, but you cannot have authority without emotional connection. (…) And connection isn’t just a strategy — it’s the source of joy. Parenting can be exhausting, even overwhelming, but those moments of closeness, laughter, and presence are what give us energy and meaning.”
“Research clearly shows that a positive parent–child relationship leads to better sibling relationships. The more criticism, control, and punishment there is, the more tension grows between siblings. Children learn how to treat each other from how we treat them. (…) That’s the power of connection — it heals more than any punishment ever could.”
Dr. Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. from Columbia University and the founder of PeacefulParentHappyKids.com. Her bestselling books, including Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, have been translated into 27 languages and continue to guide parents and educators around the world in raising resilient and joyful children.
ParentED Fest is organized with the support of Lidl Romania – Strategic Partner, Sanador – Healthcare Partner, Kids Hero Foundation – Empowerment Partner, as well as ThedaMar, Catena, Raiffeisen Bank, Autoklass, Activ, Aquatique, English Kids Academy, and Maison Dadoo. Innovation Partners: Alfa Foundation, Bog’Art Foundation.
Media Partners: Magic FM, Mind Architect, Itsy Bitsy, Zyx Books, Pagina de Psihologie, Psychologies, Ringier Romania, Părinți și Pitici, Adevărul de Weekend, Mommy Hai, Euromedia.
ParentED Fest is the official education provider of the Margareta of Romania Royal Foundation.
More information available at: https://parentedfest.ro
*This is a press release.
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