{"id":7090,"date":"2025-10-06T11:00:54","date_gmt":"2025-10-06T11:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/?p=7090"},"modified":"2025-10-06T11:00:54","modified_gmt":"2025-10-06T11:00:54","slug":"parented-fest-2025-main-highlights-of-the-second-day-of-the-festival","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/?p=7090","title":{"rendered":"ParentED Fest 2025 – Main highlights of the second day of the festival"},"content":{"rendered":"

ParentED Fest 2025, the largest parenting event in Romania, brought to Bucharest some of the world’s most renowned experts in parenting and education. Dr. Shefali, pioneer of conscious parenting, international speaker, and frequent guest of Oprah Winfrey, returned to ParentED Fest on October 5, following the success of the previous edition.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Joining her on stage on Sunday were Maggie Dent, a renowned parenting expert and author of numerous books on balanced child development, and Dr. Laura Markham, psychologist and bestselling author known for her work on connection-based parenting<\/p>\n\n

Dr. Shefali <\/strong><\/p>\n

Clinical Psychologist, Author, and International Speaker<\/p>\n

\t\u201cI\u2019m deeply moved to see how many young parents \u2013 and not only \u2013 are eager, even thirsty, to evolve. Whether or not you have a biological child, we are all parents: parents of our inner child. That is the essence of my work on conscious parenting: it doesn\u2019t matter how many children you have externally; the greatest, most restless one who needs your attention, presence, warmth, and encouragement the most is the child within you.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhen we have children, each of us does so from an unconscious fantasy. We believe that at last, we\u2019ll \u2018make it\u2019. That child will validate us. Maybe we were rejected, maybe we didn\u2019t feel loved or that we belonged. So, we project all these unmet needs onto the child \u2013 they will be the one to bring us fulfillment, pride, success. We imagine a child who\u2019s part Mozart, part Julia Roberts, part Brad Pitt \u2013 brilliant, talented, extraordinary. We dream of a child skiing backwards at two, speaking three languages, dazzling the world. And then\u2026 reality. A few months later, we realize this child doesn\u2019t look like our fantasy.\u201d
\n\t\u201cAround the age of 40\u201345, exhaustion mixes with menopause, hormones fade, patience disappears \u2013 but a doorway to transformation opens, because parenting is not, in fact, about the child. It\u2019s about our ego. Teenagers become perfect teachers for that ego: brutally honest, telling us straight to our faces, \u2018Mom, Dad, you don\u2019t control me. I see you. You\u2019re not perfect. You\u2019re hypocritical. What you\u2019re asking doesn\u2019t make sense.\u2019 And they\u2019re right. They shake us, bring us back to earth. That\u2019s when the spell breaks: the child no longer lives in your illusion \u2013 they grow up, and you must grow too. That is the true awakening.\u201d
\n\t\u201cEvery relationship we have \u2013 with our partner, friends, or child \u2013 is merely a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. When your child listens, follows rules, and seems \u2018good\u2019, they\u2019re not necessarily good \u2013 they\u2019re simply feeding your ego, which feels validated. But when your child disobeys, rebels, comes home late, lies, steals the car, or says, \u2018I hate you\u2019, suddenly they\u2019re \u2018bad\u2019. Not because they truly are, but because your ego feels hurt. You don\u2019t see the pain, helplessness, or need behind their behavior; you see only an offense to yourself.\u201d
\n\t\u201cOur entire way of thinking is merely conditioning \u2013 not a matter of right or wrong, but a psychological lottery determined by the home we grew up in, where our parents held control over our psychology, just as we now hold it over our children, instilling our belief systems in them daily. (\u2026) This is the essence: we grow up with a set of conditionings, then pass them on to our children \u2013 beliefs about obedience, intelligence, success, behavior. But these are inherited beliefs, not absolute truths.\u201d
\n\t\u201cBecause we\u2019ve completely abandoned our personal lives, we cling to the identity of \u2018perfect mothers\u2019. We tell ourselves, \u2018It has to be worth it! It has to mean something!\u2019 But often, it doesn\u2019t look good at all. So we panic. We start \u2018raising the stakes\u2019: \u2018Let\u2019s go skiing!\u2019, \u2018Let\u2019s sign them up for piano!\u2019, \u2018Let\u2019s do something new, something impressive!\u2019 And we burn out completely. Our identity becomes a chaos of comparison, panic, and perfectionism. We long to feel that we\u2019re \u2018enough\u2019, but we don\u2019t know how.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhen you tell your child (or your partner, or anyone else), \u2018You need to be happy so I can be okay,\u2019 you transfer a burden that doesn\u2019t belong to them. You use them to meet your own need for worth and safety. And, painful as it may be to admit, in those moments you\u2019re using your child \u2013 not loving them unconditionally. (\u2026) That\u2019s why, when we use children as a source of validation, the tragedy is even greater: they come into this world with trust, vulnerability, and innocence, and we weigh their souls down with our unresolved issues.\u201d
\n\t\u201cChildren are the easiest ground for our projections because they are ours. We try to control them, keep them close, shape them in our image and according to our needs \u2013 just as we do with partners: \u2018You\u2019re mine. We\u2019re one. We\u2019re soulmates.\u2019 We label possession and control as \u2018love\u2019. The same happens in parenting: we hold them tight with an invisible leash and call it \u2018unconditional love\u2019.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhen you begin to see your child as they truly are \u2013 authentic, imperfect, unique \u2013 you accept them, and from acceptance grows respect. When you honor them, they feel free, live spontaneously, allow themselves to make mistakes, to fall and rise again, knowing deep down they are worthy even without achievement, dignified without doing anything special, and whole just as they are. And in the moment, you see their light, you finally fall in love with yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a globally influential voice, known for her revolutionary approach to conscious parenting and for promoting an authentic, balanced lifestyle. Holding a PhD from Columbia University and over two decades of experience in clinical psychology, she harmoniously blends Eastern philosophy with Western psychology, offering a unique perspective on emotional and relational development. An international bestselling author, Dr. Shefali has been described by Oprah Winfrey as \u2018revolutionary\u2019 for her ability to transform the parent\u2013child relationship into a journey of mutual growth. Beyond her work as an author and clinician, she is a highly sought-after speaker at major international conferences.<\/p>\n\n

Maggie Dent<\/strong><\/p>\n

Educator, Parenting Counselor, Author, and \u2018Voice for Boys\u2019 in Parenting<\/p>\n

\t\u201cNone of us are perfect parents. We all forget things, raise our voices, get frustrated. That doesn\u2019t mean we\u2019re bad parents. We need to lower the bar of expectations, especially mothers. Connection is what matters; kids don\u2019t mind if the laundry isn\u2019t folded.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhen we have a child, we imagine who they will be. But often, we don\u2019t get the child we wanted \u2013 we get the one we needed. (\u2026) Our role is to understand who the child we have truly is, and what they need to become who they\u2019re meant to be. And yes, some are harder to love sometimes. Every parent knows that.\u201d
\n\t\u201cEvery child comes into the world with innate gifts and challenges. Unfortunately, over the last decade, I\u2019ve noticed we focus too much on children\u2019s deficits and not enough on their strengths. For a long time, it was believed that birth order strongly influenced personality, but recent research shows the differences are minimal. The firstborn has some advantages, but things balance out after that.\u201d
\n\t\u201cChildren build internal maps of the world through experience \u2014 how things work, who they are, how they feel. For instance, when my two-year-old granddaughter sits beside me in the kitchen and eats an entire box of cherry tomatoes, she\u2019s discovering: This is what it feels like to bite into a tomato. Her brain learns through repetition and experience. Sometimes children draw on the dog, pull its tail, or do seemingly absurd things \u2014 but in fact, they are exploring the world. We need to see these moments differently.\u201d
\n\t\u201cNo parent can meet 100% of a child\u2019s needs all the time \u2014 and that\u2019s perfectly okay. What matters is focusing on the essentials and knowing we won\u2019t always get it right. When children (or we) feel overwhelmed, the brain floods with cortisol, the stress hormone. That\u2019s why they scream, hit, or run. After the outburst, they feel better and can regain balance. Then dopamine and endorphins appear, helping us feel good. We can stimulate them through simple things \u2014 humor, play, singing, pleasant smells, good food. When children laugh, they release cortisol \u2014 it\u2019s more effective than crying. Laughter, singing, and hugs are all natural medicine for the brain.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhen a child has a meltdown, remember \u2014 it\u2019s not about you; it\u2019s about them. In that moment, bend your knees slightly, take a deep breath, and try to see the world through your child\u2019s eyes. They\u2019re not bad or naughty; they\u2019re just struggling to cope. At first, it may feel odd, but that physical gesture helps create, through neuroplasticity, a new reaction in your brain. Over time, you\u2019ll find it easier to stay calm in such moments.\u201d
\n\t\u201cSensitive children can also be anxious, and for them, predictability is essential. If you\u2019re going somewhere new, tell them in advance where you\u2019re going, who will be there, how long you\u2019ll stay, and what they\u2019ll be able to do \u2014 this helps them feel in control and reduces anxiety. It may seem excessive, but for an anxious child, predictability is profoundly calming. And most importantly \u2014 celebrate their sensitivity! The world needs them: empathetic, caring, and attuned.\u201d
\n\t\u201cIn a world that moves so fast, real connection is essential. I\u2019m a big advocate of micro-connections \u2014 short but meaningful moments of presence. They don\u2019t need to be grand gestures, just moments when you\u2019re truly there. For example, at breakfast, put your phone away and be present \u2014 because little ones notice immediately when a notification goes off and they know you\u2019ve \u2018left\u2019. So silence it and put it away. We need real conversations, real words, and real people \u2014 we\u2019re a social species, and human connection is our emotional nourishment.\u201d
\n\t\u201cJust as a child\u2019s body cannot grow without food, the mind cannot flourish without stimulation, and the soul wilts without being nourished with love and meaning. We\u2019re not just growing brains \u2014 we\u2019re raising whole beings with mind, body, and soul. Our duty is to nurture all these levels in a world that tends to measure only what can be seen. There\u2019s a sacredness to childhood \u2014 and children are meant to have one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maggie Dent, known as \u201cthe queen of common sense,\u201d is one of Australia\u2019s most beloved parenting authors and educators, celebrated for her expertise in early childhood, adolescence, and resilience-building \u2014 and especially for her unwavering advocacy for boys.
\nWith extensive experience as a teacher, counselor, and in palliative care and suicide prevention, Maggie is a powerful voice who quietly transforms the lives of families and communities. She is the mother of four sons and a deeply involved, grateful grandmother.<\/p>\n\n

Dr. Laura Markham <\/strong><\/p>\n

Clinical Psychologist, Founder of AHA! Parenting, and Bestselling Author<\/p>\n

\t\u201cWhen children are raised consciously \u2014 meaning when parents start by taking care of themselves, ensuring their own needs are met and not unloading their frustrations onto their kids \u2014 a more balanced relationship forms. When we connect with them, validate them, and care for their emotional needs, they no longer feel the need to compete with or dismiss each other, because they feel seen and fulfilled.\u201d
\n\t\u201cWhen we guide our children based on what they need to become the best version of themselves \u2014 instead of controlling, threatening, or punishing them \u2014 things flow much more easily. Yes, adolescence will bring challenges and moments of separation, but the parenting journey becomes immeasurably lighter. This kind of parenting makes a world of difference.\u201d
\n\t\u201cEverything starts with the parent\u2019s calm. Why is self-regulation so important? Because the parent is the model \u2014 and science shows us it\u2019s not just about imitation, it\u2019s about co-regulation. A child\u2019s neurobiology is born incomplete, and the brain\u2019s connections and nervous system develop through repeated experiences in the early years \u2014 especially those shared with primary caregivers, usually parents.\u201d
\n\t\u201cEvery time you pick up a crying baby and soothe them, their body releases oxytocin \u2014 the bonding hormone. The more oxytocin is released, the more receptors for it are formed, which means that for the rest of their life, that child will have a greater capacity for connection and trust. In essence, the way we relate literally shapes the child\u2019s neurobiology.\u201d
\n\t\u201cIt\u2019s essential for the parent to start from a place of calm. An emotionally unregulated adult is dangerous for a child. The moment a parent yells or loses control, the child instantly feels unsafe. They go into a defensive state, because their entire body reacts to the parent\u2019s stress.\u201d
\n\t\u201cTherapists used to teach couples communication skills, which seemed logical \u2014 but it didn\u2019t work, because when people are upset, they can\u2019t access the rational part of the brain \u2014 the prefrontal cortex. The same applies between siblings. So before teaching children how to behave, we must teach them how to calm down when they\u2019re upset. This ability to self-regulate develops over time, and the parent plays a crucial role: when you calm your child, you\u2019re teaching them how to calm themselves.\u201d
\n\t\u201cChildren who are frequently yelled at or exposed to parental anger often become more anxious or depressed in adolescence. You can have balanced teens \u2014 but the hard work starts early, through how you regulate your own emotions. If you grew up in a household full of shouting, it will be a challenge \u2014 but breaking that cycle is an act of heroism. No one may ever know, but the true reward will be your inner peace. (\u2026) The key isn\u2019t perfection, but daily practice of calm. The way you treat yourself teaches your child how to treat themselves.\u201d
\n\t\u201cIf you don\u2019t work on your relationship with your child, sibling issues will worsen. To have any influence over another human being \u2014 whether a child, partner, or colleague \u2014 you must have a real connection. Many parents believe authority comes automatically, but you cannot have authority without emotional connection. (\u2026) And connection isn\u2019t just a strategy \u2014 it\u2019s the source of joy. Parenting can be exhausting, even overwhelming, but those moments of closeness, laughter, and presence are what give us energy and meaning.\u201d
\n\t\u201cResearch clearly shows that a positive parent\u2013child relationship leads to better sibling relationships. The more criticism, control, and punishment there is, the more tension grows between siblings. Children learn how to treat each other from how we treat them. (\u2026) That\u2019s the power of connection \u2014 it heals more than any punishment ever could.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dr. Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. from Columbia University and the founder of PeacefulParentHappyKids.com. Her bestselling books, including Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, have been translated into 27 languages and continue to guide parents and educators around the world in raising resilient and joyful children.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

ParentED Fest is organized with the support of Lidl Romania \u2013 Strategic Partner, Sanador \u2013 Healthcare Partner, Kids Hero Foundation \u2013 Empowerment Partner, as well as ThedaMar, Catena, Raiffeisen Bank, Autoklass, Activ, Aquatique, English Kids Academy, and Maison Dadoo. Innovation Partners: Alfa Foundation, Bog\u2019Art Foundation.<\/p>\n

Media Partners: Magic FM, Mind Architect, Itsy Bitsy, Zyx Books, Pagina de Psihologie, Psychologies, Ringier Romania, P\u0103rin\u021bi \u0219i Pitici, Adev\u0103rul de Weekend, Mommy Hai, Euromedia.<\/p>\n

ParentED Fest is the official education provider of the Margareta of Romania Royal Foundation.<\/p>\n

More information available at: https:\/\/parentedfest.ro<\/a><\/p>\n

*This is a press release.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ParentED Fest 2025, the largest parenting event in Romania, brought to Bucharest some of the world’s most renowned experts in parenting and education. Dr. Shefali, pioneer of conscious parenting, international speaker, and frequent guest of Oprah Winfrey, returned to ParentED Fest on October 5, following the success of the previous edition. Joining her on stage […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7090"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7090\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ofero.news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}